New Cars 2010/2011: Mercedes E-Class Coupe

As you know from reading my opinions, and looking at my photos, I am a strong supporter of European cars-- or at least older ones. Lately, new cars have gotten me less and less excited as a whole. While there are a few exceptions, Mercedes continues to bewilder me with their latest offerings. Okay, I do admit I like some of their products, but most leave me less than ecstatic. Case in point.
I present to you, the new, redesigned (and quite blandized) E-Class coupe. In 2005, Mercedes shocked the automotive press with the CLS four door sedan that had coupe-like proportions. Fast forward five year, and Mercedes has done the opposite.
When the first generation CLK was introduced in the fall of 1996, it was a arguably a decent looking car; the second generation that bowed in 2004/2005 became much softer, blander. So, what did Mercedes do for 2010? It dropped the CLK nomenclature for the revival of the E-Class coupe namesake. Gee.. since the made the sedan blander, the coupe should follow suit right? OF COURSE!
Mercedes claims the styling is evolutionary, with a touch of retro, saying that the rear fenders get their inspiration from classic Benzes. I call this hogwash; the fender bulges simply contradict the squareness of the overall car. Not a good mesh of styling cues, to be honest. If you want a good looking square-ish car, get a Cadillac CTS.
Equipped with either a 3.5L V6, or 5.5L V8, the coupe is available in two models, the E350 and E550 respectively. The 5.5 puts out 382 horses, while the 3.5 makes do with 268 of them. Neither is a slow car, by any means, but neither car is a looker either. If anything, the 550 (not pictured here) is a bland car with nice wheels. The E350 is just a bland car altogether. What's even more saddening, is despite it's "fast coupe" heritage, tuning arm AMG will not produce a souped-up coupe, instead focusing their efforts on the E-Class sedan and wagon. So, for those of you looking for a CLK63 AMG replacement, look elsewhere. Try a BMW M3 or Cadillac CTS-V instead.
In the meantime, I think if I want to see nice looking german cars, I'll stick to my CL until Mercedes screws that one up, too, or even the BMW Z4 coupe/roadster combocar. At least BMW turned an ugly duckling Z4 into a cleanly designed sports car, rather than turn an inoffensive car into a steaming pile of blandness. Shame on you Merceds, shame on you.