Minneapolis Street Sighting: Plymouth Valiant Custom

Now, here in Minnesota, we have different levels of beaterism, ranging from "oh look, it's got some minor crash damage, and oh lookie! some rust holes" to full-fledged "it should be in U-Pull-It" condition, and everything in between. Most of the classics I shoot, if they are beaters, tend to fall into the first category. Within that first category, though, are what I like to call "time machine beaters", or cars that likely have stayed in their current condition for over a decade. This Valiant is a good example of a "time machine beater".
Sporting a faded, worn-out factory paint job and loose side moulding, the exterior of this car looked as if it has been someone's daily driver ever since it was a new car. The cheapo Wal-Mart wires aren't helping matters. I remember those bastardly things from my childhood. Back in the 1980s when Cadillacs and Lincolns had wire wheelcovers from the factory, JC Whitney was churning out their own style of knockoff. It was these cheap-ass covers that wound up on all sorts of makes and models from Valiants like this one, to the poor chap who lost a Town Car cap and needed a quick replacement.
As one would expect for a "time machine beater", it doesn't have new-style license plates. So, technically, these plates could have actually been on the car at the same time it received these piece of shit wheelcovers. However, unlike most "time machine beaters" I see around town, no period modifications were made to this somewhat decent example of forgotten Mopar. Which is good. Who wants to see a four-door with window slats and lake pipes!? Not me! However, one period modification that would look indefinitely better, is if the owner were replace these stupid wires with Cragars. Did I mention I hate those god-damned wheelcovers? At least one of them is missing. Now it needs to lose the other three.
As one would expect me to say, yes I would (likely) drive it. It probably has the crappy slant six in it, but oh well. At least it isn't shit-brown. Then it would really suck. As it is, though, it sucks enough. But does it suck enough to get made into a fireball after being chased by semi? At least I would be able to lose the hubcaps trying to outrun the semi. But knowing my luck, the hubcaps would survive the ordeal and I wouldn't.